They're-a-pist

#		Title	Length
1		Intro	0:19	Play
2		Drunk I Love You	0:39	Play
3		Seven Year Bitch	3:17	Play
4		He Treats Dog Better..	1:04	Play
5		I-94	2:29	Play
6		Can't Find a Girl	1:37	Play
7		Watch Out For the Mines	1:55	Play
8		They're-a-pist	2:16	Play
9		Directions	1:49	Play
10		Get Him in the Mood	0:54	Play
11		Mucho Poocho	2:40	Play
12		Won't Propose	1:18	Play
13		Velvet Elvis	3:18	Play
14		Rabbit	2:18	Play
15		Inside Out	2:10	Play
16		Taken For Granted	2:00	Play
17		Over You Quicker	1:05	Play
18		What Turns Women On	1:05	Play
19		I Liked You Better	1:56	Play
20		Wife Left While I Was in Iraq	0:38	Play
21		Black and Blue	2:19	Play
22		Friends, Toilet Seat...	3:06	Play
23		Cupid's Arrows Hit My Butt and Bank Account	1:59	Play
24		Why Men Die First	1:01	Play
25		Lemon Law	2:44	Play
26		Anita Dye	2:25	Play
27		Chicken or Egg	0:15	Play
28		Artichoker	3:18	Play
29		Need Space	1:14	Play
30		Outsource Greedy CEOs	1:55	Play
			55:03

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Description

Professor Milo - Marriage Therapist

Anyone arriving at a Milo concert is greeted by--not the box office sales person--but by the headliner, PROF MILO, handing out cards and inviting his attendees to write down questions about relationships, which he in turn will read and answer onstage.

"Learn what you may be doing wrong in your relationship from the man who's done it all wrong already. There has to be an upside to the disasters I've endured. I'm just passing the information on to others."

The professor (he's not really a professor--only a BA in history from UCLA) intersperses his brilliant discourse on interpersonal relations with such romantic self-penned ditties as BABY'S GONE MUSCLEBOUND LIKE SCHWARZENEGGER, THE BARF SONG, IF BEAUTY'S ON THE INSIDE I'D PREFER YOU INSIDE OUT, and GO UGLY EARLY.

"We've ALL been lonely which has inevitably led us into miserable relationships. Might as well have some fun with it: 'If your heart's as big as your butt is, you'll forgive me and unlock the door.'"

Unlike many comedians, he doesn't rely on banter to entertain the crowd, but unleashes a full performance people remember and talk about years later. " I have had so many e-mails and letters from people who had seen my show years earlier and still remember song titles and some of the bits I had done. You can't get any luckier having fans like that."

Milo's answers to probing questions have evolved into the printing of his first book: ASK PROF.MILO--UNCOMMONLY STUPID ANSWERS TO COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.
Q: Why won't he ask for directions?
A: He's used to having you tell him where to go.

Milo has performed at Farm Aid and several 4th of July Picnics with Willie Nelson. He headlines comedy clubs in Las Vegas and Reno, among them The Riviera and the Sands Regency respectively. He has shared the stage at the world-famous Comedy Store with such comedians as David Letterman, Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, and Robin Williams among others before they became David Letterman, Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, and Robin Williams.

His witty songs have been played on hundreds of radio stations nationally. Some of the syndicated radio programs on which his songs can be heard include The Bob and Tom Show, Howard Stern, Doctor Demento, and Rush Limbaugh.