August: Of Temporal Inconsistency

Collection Contents

#		Title	Length
1		Laying on the Hood of My Car	1:48	Play
2		Inappropriately Detailed Response	1:44	Play
3		Night of Nights (Labor Eve)	1:47	Play
4		Cherry Tree	1:05	Play
5		25-Years-Old	1:57	Play
6		Bathing With a Nurse	0:54	Play
7		Come Hither Wave (Hostess Girl)	0:45	Play
8		You Love Me	1:10	Play
9		Why Don't The Fish Keep Biting?	0:44	Play
10		(Scrub or) No Scrubs (That is the Question)	1:21	Play
11		Jon Noble (You Think You're Better Than Me (And You Are))	2:00	Play
12		Bored Out of My Mind	1:45	Play
13		Small Talk Song	1:42	Play
14		Let Me Tell You 'Bout a Bath I Took	1:27	Play
15		1992	1:16	Play
16		Sleison's a Boxer	2:14	Play
17		How 'bout Dem Visions (Thanks For Showing Me My Future, Troll)	1:11	Play
18		This is Not Your Planet Anymore	2:48	Play

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Description

Picture, if you will, a small, East Coast lakeshore town during August 1958, where a young man on the cusp of independence and adulthood rests on the hood of his car after enjoying perhaps the last day of his misspent youth in the bosom of his friends.

And lo, but what to the west should appear but a temporal inconsistency in the form of a troll in a jar. This beast, this being, this creature of the netherworlditself a manifestation of a rift in the space-time continuumgenerously implants fleeting, amorphous and mundane visions of the young man's impending existence into the boy's brain. In a flash, the youth is made privy to glimpses of moments from a fortnight-plus-one days of his life as a fully matured homosapien.

The temporal inconsistency passes.

The lad remains atop the hood of his car, forever changed and newly cognizant and enthusiastically enamored of his fate.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the youth (heretofore known as Creepy Bobby), some 379 million lightyears away, a two-headed, highly literary entity of British persuasion puts the finishing touches on a folk/pop ditty that will be performed relentlessly when the aliens overtake Sacramentothe flashpoint of the interstellar war that began in March of 2006, and will lead, eventually, to the takeover of the entire planet. God help us all.