And Now to Sum Things Completely Different

Collection Contents

#		Title	Length
1		Zillion Faces	1:12	Play
2		Went on a Ride	3:15	Play
3		Dannys Magick Cellphone	4:13	Play
4		Birdies Bouncing Off Windows	3:01	Play
5		Cheese	1:17	Play
6		Yertle & Batholomew	3:05	Play
7		Schrdingers Kitty	5:31	Play
8		Pint of Dark Matter	5:03	Play
9		Ahabs Bee of Death	3:00	Play
10		Dancing upon the Ephemeron	2:17	Play
11		The Great Opaque Divide	3:54	Play
12		Sum of All Things	3:48	Play
13		Zillion Faces (Instrumental)	1:01	Play
14		Went on a Ride (Instrumental)	3:12	Play
15		Dannys Magick Cellphone (Instrumental)	4:12	Play
16		Birdies Bouncing Off Windows (Instrumental)	2:57	Play
17		Yertle & Batholomew (Instrumental)	3:05	Play
18		Schrdingers Kitty (Instrumental)	5:24	Play
19		Pint of Dark Matter (Instrumental)	5:03	Play
20		Ahabs Bee of Death (Instrumental)	2:57	Play
21		The Great Opaque Divide (Instrumental)	3:54	Play
22		Sum of All Things (Instrumental)	3:39	Play

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Description

Greetings Earth Modular Unit!
The reason we write is that presently we are trapped in a nethersphere, and the only communications we are able to send are with the person sending this CD, and the only sound we are able to receive is the beautiful sound coming from your speakers.

We have developed a secretly encoded CD in hopes that you will play it over and over. If you will play this over and over again, the hopes are that the furtive cryptographic frequencies (un-audible to the standard Earth modular unit) will unlock the netherspheric entrapment and set us free to visit your planet.

Do not worry. Most planets fare well with minimal damage. We are mostly harmless.

The CD containing the frequencies has been enveloped in the following songs. The CD contains both vocal and non-vocal versions of each song (the CD repeats itself with the non-vocal arrangements after tract 12, the last vocal song). Ignore the strange background noisesthose are just the frequencies that we have embedded to set us free!




JJ

1) Zillion Faces
I hears a zillion voices crying out for meaning
and I swears they sounds a lot like me
I sees a zillion faces that yearn for the notion of being and I swears they looks a lot like me

2) I Went on a Ride
I went on a ride In the great space coaster
With Tinky Winky And his brave little toaster.
He said No it dont cook the custard even
But while others go to 10 This one goes to 11

We went to the restaurant
At the end of the universe
and he read to me from the reading rainbow connection
Verse by verse by verse

Whats your Name
Whats your quest
Whats your favorite color
come and take a look into my magic mirror
You can stay if you brought your towel
But please dont call me Barney

Strange is our Situation here upon the earth
Stranger still the longing of our soul
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
Yet we all want someone to say well done.

I went to a BBQ and what did I see
HR Pufnstuff coming after me
He said we have an interview with the new zoo review
With Dr. Horton the Who, Winnie the Pooh, and The Buggaloos

There is no reason to get excited, HR kindly spoke
There are many among us Who think life is but a syndicated show

Whats your Name
Whats your quest
Whats your favorite color
come and take a look into my magic mirror
You can stay if you brought your towel
But please dont call me Barney

Strange is our Situation here upon the earth
Stranger still the longing of our soul
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
Yet we all want someone to say well done.

So I said to the Captain Please bring me my Chocolate
Dan said we havent had that Box here Since Frank Farion forgot my number

When I close my eyes at the end of the session
Will the answer be forty-two guess it pends on the question.

3) Dannys Magick Cellphone
Wouldnt it be neat if the moon was made of green cheese
And the earth was a bagel
Then God could have breakfast on the way to work
And heat His coffee on the sun

Oh Danny boy the pipes are calling
From glen to mountain side
its been a thousand two hundred and ninety days
and your dinosaurs have all died

Life was so much simpler
before we killed the man on the moon
the pleasures of life much sweeter
before the plate divorced the spoon

Put down your cell phone
Put on your shades
Roll down your window
Take a look around before the ambiance fades

one thousand three hundred and thirty five days
since we drank to our surmise
I still cant read the Writing on the wall
must be the clouds in my eyes

We have slaughtered all the unicorns
and caged up all the dragons
is there anyone remaining who'll have a drink
with me and Bilbo Baggins

Put on your big hat
put down your PDA
time is sipping cider from an hour glass
as Lucys selling wisdom for the price of lemonade

As Dannys dinosaur takes a bow
before he slips into his enclave
now just a star in the face of the sky
no time to see him wave

when swimming in the tapestry
of a rich mans kingdom
never forget the simple smile
of a clown who loves to dance

put on your trench coat
Put away your aftershave
dont forget your goulashes
come and join the masquerade as we serenade home

jump back patty whack
give a Danny his bone
and when this mortal flesh shall fail
I will leave a light on

4) Birdies Bouncing Off Windows
I see birdies bouncing off windows
Simply because they dont believe they are there
There are no second chances
Their bodies are broken by the choices they have made

And goliath comes,
and he swallows them down and he smiles
Cuz you know he thinks its a game,
doggy snacks from heaven

And fate laughs
as she lays down her final hand
And we turn our heads as we wonder
if the gamble was worth the price we paid

5) Cheese
-with apologies to Dave Matthews
There are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese

6) Yertle & Batholomew
Yertle and Bartholomew
sitting with in the vestibule
searching for exotic tools
to computate the Golden rule

If Bartholomew had 500 hats
He would want 500 more
his cracked emphatic intellect
cannot keep objective score

He would not clock it in a box
he could not with a fox in socks
its safe behind his mental blocks
locked his rocks from Goldilox

fixation stirred
with whey and curds
is symbiosis
with social thrombosis

his pretense
builds his defense
rational internal splicing
spoils our fare with over-spicing

dont let our need for reason
blemish the dance
dont let our want for bits & portion
taint the romance

Yertle says that what I do
the limbic system tells me to
Ive drank the wishy-washy brew
and never tasted anything new

Over the hill and through the woods
the wolf is surely waiting
dilapidated vigor the caveat
yertle van turtle still wants to be king

Synchronic allure
cannot confer
his pending diagnosis
of his apotheosis,

he gathers reference
without preference
incoherent cognant pricing
taste it once again this time with icing

dont let our need for reason
blemish the dance
dont let our want for bits and portion
taint the romance

bitter tasting weed and brine
oft mistaken for bread and wine
from the start to finish line
we are more than our design

7) Schrdingers Kitty (Strings)
This is my corrugated ditty
about a pitiable little kitty
Dissipating in a chromodynamic shroud

when along came a spider
upon the supercollider
to derail his fractal cloud

she said my name is charlotte
as she weaves her scarlet
I have come to entwine your reactor

he said kitties like me need no name
we have no claim to fame
but my imaginary friends like to call me factor

web-weaver web weaver weave me a web
where love and suffering and visions wed
Where wind and soil share the wine and the bread
where father time has his fortune read

I have sipped from the chalice
Threaded yarn through the palace
acquire designed, of life defined,
watching time cast silhouettes

I have treaded down the random walk
twist the hands of the clock
bake a mistake, my cake to partake,
I still have my XFL season tickets

She listens to the tune
that gently fumes
from the strings of factors fiddle

with a song no one wrote
he misses not one note
not one yod or one tittle

she told of her bought with the water spout
and the clout that washed her spirit out
how all the kings men and all the kings horses
could not dry her doubt

but the sun did return
between the drenched and the burn
she found a route through the drought,
her serenity to yearn

my children dropped their guitars,
& return to mars
to discover their worth in vittles

Now they talk about moms piggy,
and their old friend Ziggy
watching battlefield earth and eating skittles

they step into the room
weave the strings upon the loom
making garments to embellish their attire

as the strings become the noose
that asphyxiate the truths
They have basted upon the fire

Tachyons dance
in this hyper luminal romance
with a hey diddle diddle, we fade from the middle of the spindle

The strings vigorously unwind
as he smiles at his Cheshire design
the line between the bronze and the brittle

the kitty in his cradle
spins his fractured dreidel
trying to win another silver spoon

just a loan from the unknown
whats intricately been sewn
between splendid, extraordinary and Picayune

yet the resolutions we swallow
are like the intuitions we borrow
no one can taste our curds and whey

through all said and done
we dance upon the ephemeron
and feast from a tailored buffet

web weaver web weaver spin me my fate
the late cant implicate, nor detractors debate
estate calls to estate, and time wont wait at the gate
there are plates Id rather not ornate

8) Pint of Dark matter
Crack the quasar over the skillet
scramble it up with some eggs and wine
Take a pint or two of dark matter
season it with rosemary sage and Thyme

the handmaids have offered us a piece of bread

are we nothing further than transmographied stardust
simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust

are we strange and are we charmed
have we abandoned the haven of old McDonalds farm
nothing more than supplementary quirks in space time
progressive impediments of intention and rhyme

the handmaids have offered us a cup of wine

are we nothing further than transmographied stardust
simple amalgamations of lime soda and floor crust

9) Ahabs Bee of Death
yesterday I got stung to death
by an itty bitty bee
and it hurt oh so bad
made me sad,
why oh why,
made me cry
I dont wanna wanna die

hurt so bad
made me sad
no, not glad
made me mad

then it stung me to death again
but it didnt hurt
quite as bad, but it still
made me cry
why o why
all the pain
in my brain
falls like rain
leaves a stain
from the strain

hurt so bad
still kinda sad
still not glad
made me mad

Ahab calls us to join him
to slay the mighty beast
but in our lust for revenge
we soon become the feast

Then it stung me to death again
for a third time
feeling kinda numb, feeling fine and appeased
the touch of the bees
its my thing
the caress of the sting
bees my friend
dont wanna end

dont hurt so bad,
kinda glad
I like being sad
I enjoy being mad

Then with one
one more sting
I couldnt live
without the zesty sting
oh the joy
the sting brings
numb the pain
what shall I ever gain
from the stain
in my brain

it dont hurt at all
like shopping at the mall
the writings on the wall
Ive become so small

What do we gain
when Cain offers grain
upon the alter of
distain and despair,
our rage cannot repair
the shoes we wear

Ahab calls us to join him
to slay the mighty beast
but in our lust for revenge
we soon become the feast

10) Dancing upon the Ephemeron

11) The Great Opaque divide
Betty Jo Jingle and Bobby Jangle
come from the world at a different angle
and found themselves in forbidden romance
in a land where Razzleflabbenz never dare to dance

Bettys hair was fuchsia
Bobbys hair was chartreuse
Bettys tail was acute
Bobbys tail was obtuse

For the field of Loshon Hora
an orthogonal wall grew between the shades
myths and legends brewed the stew
lost in analysis, brotherhood unglued

Betty Jo cried If we left all the primary colors pure
never have all the beautiful shades of fur
let the Shades of fur start to blur
I must confer, to be assure

Bobby replied Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran
And this same hair that smiles today
tomorrow Ill be dyeing.

for Bobby and Betty Jos love implied
the disengagement of the opaque divide
maybe somewhere they forgot to give ponderance
why it had to be this way

There is unrest in the meadow
There is trouble the in glade
we could become equal
with trimmer, sheers, and blade

Would noone truly hate
if we all epilate
or would this end in futility
until we learn to accept the potpourri

we dont need pathogenic ocular dissonance
we dont need to abandon our inheritance
we just need to learn to dance
and stop romancing irrelevance

They, hand in hand,
with wandering steps and slow,
Search for the where the sidewalk ends
and where the Giving Tree grows

And while all is said and done
let us unspin walls undone
and let the path be run
run with unity love and absolution

12) Sum of All Things
It was mid Octember when we got the news
it was late Febrilary when it came to pass
now the first of Janutober
and still many questions unasked

Old Saint Nick sips his last coke
silly Samhain tells his final joke
and peter rabbit has gone his way to greener fields

Some come to unremember
Some come to unregret
here at the House mother goose has built
Dannys dinosaur finally has come home

folly once scorned
over popcorn
as we charade across the stage

now we take a bow
as we are known as we are now
here at the sum of all things

SDG

De Coloures, Table Of Paul, SWVA #15





AKA Phloide.com & the Garden Gnome Liberation Front

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