It Takes A Village

Collection Contents

#		Title	Length
1		Opening Banter	2:37	Play
2		Movies	0:40	Play
3		Women Drivers	0:56	Play
4		Fast Food / Atkins	1:22	Play
5		Bus Stop / Home School	1:15	Play
6		I Wish I Was a Black Guy	0:33	Play
7		Cell Phones	2:08	Play
8		He's Just Compensating	1:10	Play
9		Condoms / Paula Abdul / Dog Years	1:00	Play
10		Marriage Proposals	1:06	Play
11		Lifetime Channel	1:08	Play
12		It Takes A Village	0:57	Play
13		Vibrators	0:42	Play
14		Drinking	3:35	Play
15		Cleavage	0:45	Play
16		Equal Rights	0:45	Play
17		Real Sex	1:33	Play
18		Everything Happens For a Reason	1:09	Play
19		Porno	0:55	Play
20		Friend Zone	1:02	Play
21		Making Love or Having Sex	2:54	Play
22		Cocksure	1:16	Play
23		More Atkins / Chicken Tenders	1:42	Play
24		I Have No Money	1:07	Play
25		Fraudulent Charges	0:52	Play
26		Instant Messaging	0:59	Play
27		Stop Forwarding	1:05	Play
28		Fear of Commitment	0:39	Play
29		Just Listen	1:16	Play
30		The Gay Bit	2:22	Play

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Bitmunk Marketplace Service	USD $0.98
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Description

Rob started his comedy career in Tysons Corner, Virginia. He quickly became the greatest comedian of all time. It wasnt long before his humor was curing cancer, impregnating infertile woman and feeding the homeless. If you think Brian Regans funny, youre right. Robs act is the perfect marriage of sex and love. Its hot, unadulterated and intense yet sensitive, caring and unconditional. Robs stage presence alone will get him into heaven. His unique insights often convince the police to look the other way. Which one doesnt fit? The invention of the wheel, the Berlin Wall being torn down, Rob Mahers bit on abortion or Neil Armstrong stepping foot on the moon? If you said the Berlin Wall being torn down, youre right. He loves animals. Rob is a firm believer that no means yes and pepper spray means do me harder. Rob Mahers act is a good book, a glass of single malt scotch, a comfortable pillow, a secluded stall in an adult bookstore, a Jimi Hendrix solo, a scene from Apocalypse Now, a pay per view prison riot and the sun setting over the ocean. Its everything you ever wanted or needed. So buy Rob Maher's new CD, "It Takes A Village." Buy copies for your entire family. You earned it. You deserve it. Do the right thing. Thank you.

Here's a couple of my recent blogs. Enjoy.

The Small Penis Theory

Fellas, always tell a girl you have a small penis. Whether your packing 4 inches or 12 inches, always say you have a small one. There are several reasons for this. First of all, if you tell a girl your huge down there she probably wont believe you. She figures every guy says that. Its in one ear and out the other. But by saying your small, this peaks her interest because no guy claims that. Now shes wondering about your penis. Shes asking herself questions. Why would he say he has a small penis? Does he really have a small penis? Maybe he has a huge penis and hes just saying its small. Maybe it is small but he just has enough confidence in himself that he doesnt care that its small. Maybe he thinks its small but its really average. Now shes got your penis on your mind and thats a good thing. Shes curious about your penis. This doesnt mean shes going to do you just to find out but it does help your chances, which brings us to the best part of this little theory.


Lets say you do end up hooking up with this girl who youve told youre small. Whether you are in actuality small, medium or large down there, you end up like a champ regardless. Lets say youre a little on the small side. You go to have sex and she sees that you are in fact lacking. Shes now saying to herself, Oh my God he is small. He wasnt lying. He was completely honest with me. Honesty is sexy. I love a guy whos honest. He was upfront with me the whole time. No games, no bullshit. And he had the confidence to admit he had a small penis. He didnt care that I knew that for he knows he has so much more to offer. Thats so sexy. Im going to go and fuck the shit out of this small penis. Brilliant. Score one for the small guy.


Lets say your Johnny average. Shes expecting a small penis but when she sees your Mr. Medium shes pleasantly surprised. Its always a good thing whenever you end up being larger than what the girl expects. She sees it and shes like, Hes not small at all. Theres nothing wrong with his penis. Its a perfectly respectable penis. I bet some dumb bitch of an ex girlfriend told this poor guy he was tiny and hes had to live his whole life thinking that. Poor guy. Women can be so cruel sometimes. All this guy needs is a little confidence. I bet I can get him to come out of his shell. Im going to go and fuck the shit out of this medium penis. Brilliant. Score one for the average guy.


Lets say your packing some extra down there. Shes going to see it and be all, Wow, its fucking huge! This guy was just messing with me the whole time. He knew he was hung. Hes got the confidence to say hes small because he knows what hes really got. Thats hot. He so surprised me. I love surprises. This guy keeps me on my toes. I dont know what hes going to do next. Its an adventure being with him. Im going to go and fuck the shit out of this giant penis. Brilliant. Score one for Mr.Big.


So ladies, for the record, I have an incredibly small penis. Im hung like a seahorse. Call me.



Wham, Bam....


Im not very good in bed. Actually, its not that Im not good, its that I dont last that long. Its OK when youre 17. Oh, you only lasted 3 minutes. Isnt that cute. Well, its not cute anymore. This is a problem every guy has at first. I dont think women realize how tough it is for us guys when we first start having sex. At that age, all we think about is sex but when we first start having sex all were told to help us last longer is to think about something else, like baseball or whatever. My mind is like sex, sex, sex and then finally Im having sex and suddenly its Will Cal Ripken ever get hurt? Die Hard is a great movie. I wonder if the A-Team is on tonight. So the only time were not thinking about sex is when were having sex. Its very confusing. It got to the point that I was thinking about sex so much that I couldnt concentrate on anything else. I was having sex just so my mind could think about other things. I was having sex just so I could get shit done. Ive got a book report to do. Whose gonna do me? I need to study for my Spanish test. I need a blow job! But after a while that stops working. Im still finishing quickly, Im just thinking about weird shit when I do. Im climaxing thinking about algebra. I solved for X and X = 3 minutes. X = disappointment. X = Ill never see her naked again. Wham, Bam, Im sorry Mam.


This all brings us to today, 500 satisfied women later give or take 493 women and satisfied. Rather than go through the trouble of actually lasting longer, now I just spin my sexual efficiency a little better. Allow me to explain. I last three minutes, girl is bitter. I tell girl I would last longer but Im so attracted to you. I think youre so hot. I love your smile, your eyes, everything about you. I think youre the most wonderful, special girl Ive ever met. Youre intelligent, funny, honest, sweet, caring and simply amazing. Everything about you turns me on. I cant imagine lasting any longer because of how much you turn me on. Girl says, Wow, are you really that turned on by me? I say, Of course baby. What, do I think Im 17 or something? Girl says, But my last boyfriend could go all night. I say, Well, he didnt love you like I do. He thought you were fat. Now girl is excited and turned on by how quick I am with her. Shes actually trying to make me finish quicker. If I get real drunk one night and make it to 5 minutes girl thinks somethings wrong. Am I getting fat? Do you not love me anymore? Is there someone else? Now Im buying girl flowers. Im sorry for almost satisfying you baby. It will never happen again. Love, Johnny Come Early. Wham, Bam, Your Welcome Mam!


Now ladies, if youre reading this thinking that bullshit would never work on me, theres only one way to find out. And if there happen to be any women out there that wouldve considered having sex with me but now wont after having read about my lack of stamina, well, dont believe everything you read on the Internet. God Speed.